where they aren’t hiding, part three.

Funny creatures, men. They like to talk about how complicated us ladies are, but I’m not all that sure that you gentlemen aren’t just as complicated. And I’m not talking about any guy. I’m talking about the nice guys, the ones who don’t treat women with disrespect and can laugh at themselves and understand that sometimes it’s enough to just talk. Because every girl wants a nice guy; every girl deserves a nice guy. But nice guys are stealthy and can’t be spotted just anywhere. (And yes, I’m aware that sounds awkwardly like hunting terminology. Let’s just pretend you didn’t notice.)

So, in an effort to aid nice girls everywhere, here a few places where the above mentioned gentlemen seem to avoid:

1. Arcades. Don’t get me wrong, I do not frequent arcades. Not really my cup of tea. (Though back in the day, I did enjoy wasting quarters and tokens to get tickets to exchange for prizes I probably could have purchased at the dollar store.) And arcades always seem to be in the most awkward of places- hidden recesses of shopping malls or the sketchy corner of a beach town. I happened past one earlier today and saw some young men of indeterminable age spending quarter after quarter trying to smash something… or shoot something… or race against something. All in the middle of the day. Such go-getters, these guys. So if you happen to walk past such an arcade, see a young man such as this, do yourself a favor and walk on. You deserve better!

2. Between the pages of a romance novel. For some of us (and even for those who may not be ready to admit it), romance novels are a woman’s guilty pleasure. We sigh over every kind gesture, tortured goodbye, and utterly romantic declaration of love. We root for the heroine, swoon over the hero, and smile at the happy ending. Then we immediately turn back to beginning and experience it all over again. (Or maybe that’s just me…) Anyways, each happy ending takes a space in our heart. We begin to imagine those stories could be our own. We fall in love with the tall, dark handsome creation of the author’s imagination. “This is what I want! This is the perfect guy for me!” we think to ourselves. But our perfect, or perfectly imperfect guy isn’t to be found in those books. And every time we compare a guy we meet who makes us smile to one of the dashing characters (because, really, they are just characters) in our books, we miss out. Because the right guy for you isn’t going to be anything like the imaginary men in your books. Dream bigger!

3. In the car that’s creepily driving next to you. At some point or another, we’ve all experienced driving by that car that slows down or speeds up in order to, well, creep on you. Their windows are rolled down, their music is blaring, and sometimes you can catch a “hey baby, how you doin’?” (And really, guys, Joey did it best.) For a moment, we think, “Oh my word, is he talking to me?! Is he cute?” followed quickly by “Excuse me?! What do I look like?” Go with that second reaction, because any guy who is going to hit on you while he’s driving past you (whether you’re in a car or on foot) has probably already done the same thing to ten girls before you. You want someone who is going to take the time to get to know you, romance you, not call at you like an animal. Stand proud and walk away from the bumping speakers and less than stellar pick up lines.

4. In your room. Lovely places, bedrooms. They are perfect and comfortable and designed just how you want them. Every picture, throw pillow, and book was placed precisely where they belong. They contain comfortable lounge chairs, beds covered in the softest of blankets, and silence. Because you are usually the only one in there. You can read for hours, write for hours, or sit with your laptop, switching tabs from Twitter to Pinterest to Facebook without anyone judging you. Bedrooms: a freeing space. But do you know what doesn’t wander into bedrooms? Single, available men. Well, not usually. (And if a random guy does suddenly appear in your doorway, maybe go see a professional or call the cops.) So as you, or I, sit on our beds and lament our single status, remember that it’s really hard for a guy to get to know you when you never leave your house… Just saying.

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One of these days, I’m going to be able to write a “Where you can find Mr. Right” and have it based on my personal experience. But for now, this is what I can offer: a bit of advice laced with humor. And know that when you are ready to meet that special guy and when he’s ready to meet you, God will lead to the places you need to be. He’ll help you make it happen. No need to rush.

Check out part one and part two.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to let me know what you think. And maybe follow me on Twitter?

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2 thoughts on “where they aren’t hiding, part three.

  1. Hi. An enjoyable read. Don’t worry you will find your Mr Right. I’m thirty two and haven’t found him yet and am content with that. (although if I have to go to another wedding alone….!) I’d rather pursue my own sense of happiness and attract Mr Right by nurturing and living myself than settle for Mr Wrong and being subjected to a journey misery and unhappiness. Love God. Love ourselves the rest will come. Check out my blog for my new book Mr Wrong, “a humorous and insightful exploration into why some women continually attract Mr Wrong and how to break the cycle.” I’d love to hear your thoughts

    dingdongitsmrwrong.WordPress.com :)

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